Just a Little
by Tomo Trillions
Summary: JJ reflects on Dee, and what lengths he would go to in order to earn the affections of his sempai. Set during the animated OAV.


Title: Just a Little  
Rating: PG for angst...  
Pairings: No real couples...just poor ikkle JJ-kins crushing his heart out over Dee  
Notes: ^_^ My first Fake fanfic! Go me, I'm branching out! I don't usually work in the first-person present tense, so we'll see how this goes. Any commentary on my take of JJ's character would be appreciated, as I've only seen the OAV!  
  
Um, oh yes, this is from the part on the animated version (I'm not sure how different the manga volumn is) where Dee realized JJ let Ryo's 'secret' slip to Henry, the hotel owner.  
  
~Tomo, friend of the underdog  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
"You....told him Ryo is Japanese?"  
  
The only thing I can think is that Dee-sempai sounds downright dangerous when he's really, really angry. "Yeah," I murmer, blinking in surprise as his eyes narrow, "...just before-"  
  
The concrete is cold and miserably wet, defying my rain slicker by seeping in quickly up my back, a wave of chilly ice. The sensation of pooling water stains my pants and undershirt, while some of the groceries spill onto the slickened pavement while my umbrella goes flying. It figures that I would land in a puddle-  
  
He's hauling me up quickly now, his fingers digging into my shirt and shaking me roughly. Dee-sempai, you're rather darling when your angry, your eyes flash in their deep shade of green, sparkling like emeralds. Protectiveness. Fury. Fear, all rolled into that one gaze that is, for a fraction of a second, settled on my face.  
  
I close my eyes as he lifts his fist again and pretend with all of my heart and mind. Pretend that it's not Ryo-sempai he's terrified for, but me instead.... When I was young I used to play with my friends, all sorts of games. Aliens, knights - now I make-believe in another dream, one as unattainable as my wildest childhood fantasies. I can pretend for those few seconds before he hits me that his fingers are clutching me out of need and not revulsion, that all those burning emotions in his eyes are for me and me alone, that nobody exists between the two of us...  
  
Maybe he's talking, but the rain is falling harder now and it makes it difficult to hear his words. It hisses as it touches the pavement and drowns everything in it's path, just like the righteous anger my sempai is feeling...towards me. And I'm drowning in it.   
  
I'm not sure, as my mind is racing over the warmth that seeps through my shirt, despite the frigid ice water pouring down my back. He's just like that, his touch and his words have been all I've ever needed in the way of warmth...  
  
Concrete again, he slams me down into the wall and I slip, landing in a puddle at the base of the bricks. Dee-sempai snaps something at the blonde man he was talking to and leaps on a civilian bike, his trenchcoat flaring out behind him as he guns the gas and sends a spray of water sheeting across the sidewalk.  
  
Gone.  
  
"JJ...?" Who was speaking? There's muddy water burning in my eyes, and nothing seems to make sense anymore. Someone's pressing a hand to my shoulder, someone with a rough accent and a familiar voice... "Are you alright?"  
  
I blink twice and wipe my eyes on the back of my hand. It's Bikky, staring at me with carefully disguised contempt as he kneels on the muddy ground in his brilliant yellow raincoat. The boy is picking up our groceries and shoving them back into plastic sacks, watching me all the while from under his bangs. "You really pissed Dee off this time, huh?"  
  
I'm not sure. I think that other inspector followed Dee-sempai down the muddy street, but that doesn't make any sense to my muddled mind - "I....he shook me," I whisper softly, forcing myself to sit up against the wall. "Dee-sempai shook me..."  
  
"Yeah, I saw that!" He sounds more a little irritated at my repetitive stuttering, but I really don't care at this point. I think I'm past caring by now... and besides Dee-sempai doesn't like him any, so why should I? "But what did you do?"  
  
"Shook me..."  
  
"JJ!"  
  
I have to get control of myself and figure out what's going on, why he hit me. I sit up slowly in a puddle of water and rub my temples with my fingers, trying to steady my breathing from catching gasps to a decently calm rhythm. Dee-sempai and that blonde inspector were talking about the hotel murder, and about Japanese people. Did I do something wrong when I told the owner that Ryo-sempai was Japanese? "Why did he shake me?"  
  
"'Cuz now Ryo's on the hit list of that psycho back at the hotel," Bikky's glaring at me for a moment, his nose wrinkled slightly as if he can't believe anyone could be as stupid as I am. I frown lightly - that's not right, but I don't have the patience to defend myself against his looks at the moment. Sad. "Weren't you listenening to them talk at all?!"  
  
Oh. Now that I think about it, I do remember something to that effect.... And the hotel owner...Henry... did look a little strange when he asked 'Japanese?' at the desk....   
  
Then I did something horrible. I put Ryo-sempai in danger...  
  
No wonder Dee-sempai hates me.  
  
"Bikky, are you alright?" The boy nods to my question, looking fearfully over his shoulder down the road in the direction the others went. The rain is still coming down, and it's drenching me - he looks warm enough in his yellow slicker, so I concentrate on weakly wringing out my shirt and sighing.  
  
"We should go back," he whispers, sounding a little scared. His voice is the voice of a child who wants to be stronger than he is, who can't admit the fear brimming in his heart. I would hug him, but he probably hates me just as much as Dee does. Oh well. "I hope Ryo is safe..."  
  
I lick my lips and admit it. "With Dee after them, he will be."  
  
~~  
  
I only had enough money for one taxi fare, so I shoved it into Bikky's hands and flagged down a car for the boy. He didn't protest much when I shoved him in along with the groceries and gave the driver instructions to head towards the hotel... He'll get there dry, and I can walk a ways. No problem for an officer like me...  
  
It's not that far. I'm not *that* wet, and not so lonely that I can't walk seven miles without having an emotional breakdown. Move one leg, then the other, concentrate on that and not the look of disappointment, anger in Dee-sempai's eyes.  
  
I didn't *mean* to cause so much trouble. Really. I do dislike Ryo-sempai and I do love Dee-sempai, but I've never been that much of a vindictive person! Not *seriously* vindictive - because if Ryo-sempai is dead, then Dee-sempai will never be the same, and especially never be mine... So of course it was an accident. Will you believe me when I tell you that, or should I never let you know how much that one blow hurt my pride?  
  
I have pride. You may doubt that, but I do.  
  
I rub the tears and rainwater out of my eyes and narrow them, looking up the street for a familiar face in the quick-moving, damp crowds of people. Some of them are huddled under the alcoves, those with umbrellas hunch over and move through the street, their rain gear squishing through the neverending puddles...Everything is a miserable shade of gray, sort of like New York in the rain, minus the colorful neon lights. There aren't any friends out in that crowd, of course - I'm a thousand miles from anyone who would care to listen to me - but looking allows me to hope for a moment that Bikky came back, or that Ryo-sempai is safe and so Dee-sempai remembered me...  
  
Or.... or... what am I waiting for?  
  
My boots shuffle against the wet sidewalk, sending ripples throughout the pool I'm standing in. I left my umbrella back at the store, where it fell when Dee hit me.  
  
I bite my lip and continue through the blinding rain.  
  
I'm sure Ryo-sempai is fine, I'm sure Dee-sempai arrived just in the nick of time, because that's just the sort of person he is. He'd probably make a damn flashy entrance too, the sort of one that will make Ryo-sempai admire him more... Hell, I bet that in the end this whole ordeal will do nothing but push me further from what I desire and edge Dee-sempai and Ryo-sempai closer together, though Ryo-sempai will never admit it.  
  
Well.....  
  
I'm not a vindictive person, even when I'm sloshing through the mud, wading after the person I care the most about, who hates me for being so damned stupid. I'm not a mean person, and while I *am* a jealous person, I would never hurt someone because of it.  
  
Despite all that...  
  
I'm just *a little* glad I told Henry. Because I'm just a little glad Dee-sempai could look at me with all that fervor in his gaze, even if it was just anger and annoyance.   
  
...And even though it disgusts me, I'm just a little glad Ryo will be hurt...  
  
And....  
  
It's wet, miserable, my hair is sloppy and my bangs are clinging to my forehead like sticky ribbons. My boots are filled with mud, and my hands shaking with cold, and my heart...  
  
Dee-sempai, I hate the rain. 


End file.
